[NancyD]

I remember saying the rosary when I was five years old. My childhood was rich with love for God, Mary and the saints. My patron saint is St Anthony and I loved to place flowers at his statue in church. I was blessed with miracles in my life; a healing for me, my father and mother.

Some where down life's road I stopped going to church. It was after my divorce. I didn't pray much anymore. I became an outsider to the church.
I held my faith deep inside but knew I was lost. Then at 62 years of age, I made the journey to Medjugorje with my dear second husband of 14 years. I cried, I prayed, I went to confession, I climbed Apparition Hill. I wanted desperately for God to forgive me.

Since I returned home five months ago, I say the rosary every night and the 7-7-7 prayers for those in Purgatory. Today I did my first fast. It's very doable. The BIG thing that is missing is not being able to receive communion. I tried going to church several times, but it hurts too much to see others receiving Christ and I can't.

Medjugorje has brought me home to the faith I love so dearly, but the front door is not completely opened yet. All I need is communion to make me whole again. Praised Be Jesus Christ and Mary, all the Angels and the Saints.

[julia60]

NancyD

Welcome, and it is so beautiful to know you have returned to your roots. This makes all Heaven jump for joy ! imagine all the angels flapping their wings with excitement, and it is all for NancyD.

It is so moving to read of your heartfelt sadness at not being able to receive Holy Communion.

I am certain it is not against the commandments of catholic church to make spiritual Communion. You should do this, there are beautiful prayerful little booklets for making spiritual Communion. And Our Lord will find a way for you to be nourished once again by His presence.

I think He is already working on it. God bless.

[marylover]

welcome to the forum Nancy, very touching and moving post. So glad that our Lady has brought you back home again.

Have you spoke to your priest, maybe you could receive an annulment of your marriage and then be able to recieve communion? I know our bulletin has info in every there every week, check with a priest.

Very happy for you. It is such a great joy to have Christ, Mary and all those wonderful Saint friends in our life.

[NancyD]

Thank you all for yor most beautiful replies. Very touching! I am so much happier now that I am back at church, fasting and praying everyday. I feel like I am me again another the lost person I was. Mary called me, I answered, and now I cry with happiness in her arms. I will never be selfish again, just going about my own little life. Thank you so much for all your beautiful thoughts for me. I was late in my reply because I didn't know there were replies to my post.
God Bless You,
Nancyd

[aoise]

It was lovely to read your story nancyd and how Medjugorje has led you back to the church and re-kindled your faith. Confide everything to Our Lady, especially your sadness at not being able to receive Holy Communion. She will take care of everything.

[OnASpiritualJourney2]

It is so beautiful that you've been led back to your faith.

For communion, you can have spiritual communion:

Spiritual Communion Prayer

My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart.
I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated from You.

You can also pray the Anima Christi as you have then received Him spiritually.

[medj_pilgrim]

It is good to see how much you are praying, and are with Our Mother. She will take care of everything, I am sure.

I help to organise an English version of the beautiful Eucharistic Adoration service which is so special in Medjugorje. It is such a special privilege, for which I am totally unworthy, but I know that Fr. Slavko Barbaric (the priest who spent so many years in Medjugorje) is encouraging me to do this. it is so special to say out loud:

Jesus, I adore You. I believe that You are truly present here with your people, and in all the tabernacles of the world.

I will remember you especially when the next service takes place.

God bless

[hopeforGodsLove]

Greetings Nancy, Thank You for sharing your testimony. How our Lord Loves you and you know it in your depths. Medjugorje is very special in bringing this to our lives. I know how you suffer regarding the Sacraments. I Love the Catholic church in many ways, my life has been blessed greatly through the lives of the Saints. In my darkest despair I hold the Rosary like a baby clinging for it's life. The rules forbid me from partaking though. Somehow, though I know not how or can now imagine how, the thirst that is not relieved pleases our Lord. He knows those who suffer and long for Him. Those who adore, seek and love Him through an ache time does not change. Peace and Love of God.