- Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:04 pm
#184678
I lived and breathed the Catholic Faith as a child and very young person. I wanted to enter religious life. I went off and was badly abused by one of the monk, supposed to be a 'spiritual director' - and lost my capacity to trust - to believe wholly for many years.
I had no peace in my soul.
Long story which I will not go into - 'cept to say I did almost lose my life because of it all.
I never lost my faith and trust in Mary though. When it seemed everything was thrown at me and I wanted to leave all behind of Catholicism. I saw Mary at the Cross and could not walk. My grandmother taught me devotion too to the Mother of Sorrows - Our Lady of Quito.
"A sword of sorrow your own soul shall pierce also..... that the thoughts of many hearts be revealed."
I should be dead - long ago, and more than once.
I have no doubts at those times especially Mary was there. She knew. And She lifted me to life again.
Years went by and in last few years I tried to return to Catholic Faith fully. But the hierarchy - some of them, did not make it easy at all. Just how it was, is in some ways and the truth. They did try to suppress it but I prayed to Mary to get me through and She did.
I always believed Mary was in Medjugorje. I was asked to go last year.
Well before that I was talking to priest friends who could not answer me my questions - fore I would trust wholly again. I said. "If you cannot give me the answers I need...... I will go to someone who can......... Mary." I got to Medjugorje and loved it there.
Smelled roses many times.
A woman I did not know from Adam came to me the first morning. She said, "You don't know me but I have to tell you something. I saw you at the airport and I have never in my life seen anyone consumed with such a profound sense of sorrow - to the core of your being. It was almost tangible. You are going to be healed. Christ will give you His peace. Not right away - but you will be healed."
If my 'soul' were made of glass, it was like she could see into the core of me, something none other could see - not even doctors I'd had to see.
I was sitting with two men I'd just met on the pilgrimage who were listening to this. They thought I was a priest at first. I thought I was going to explode - or implode. If the tears had started - I'd have shed an ocean. I wanted to run I was so overwhelmed with a sense of grief - but prayed for the strength to compose myself.
Since that trip the answers came. I have reconciled wholly with the Faith of my childhood. I am feeling peace permeate my soul. Not all at once - but peace I have not known for years - maybe ever.
She promised, "In the end My Immaculate Heart will triumph...." She keeps Her promise. I wanted to stay with Her at the Cross. She has always been with me - even when it seemed I was abandonned.
Thank you Mother. I love you.
Now - again, I ask - do with me what you will.
God is so good. I learned to forgive the priest in time too. Visited his grave and pray to God he was embraced in death.
Our suffering will not last forever. It will end - like a mother giving birth. We don't give birth to more suffering and death - but through, with and in Christ Crucified - to new Life for all.
Just some thoughts rushed I wanted to share.
God bless you all richly and may Mary, the Mother of Contemplatives guide you all.
K
This is Our Lady of Quito my grandmother introduced me to. As a child I wondered why she cried and wanted to dry the tears.
Oh to be a child again
http://www.sspxasia.com/Images/Newslett ... icture.jpg
I had no peace in my soul.
Long story which I will not go into - 'cept to say I did almost lose my life because of it all.
I never lost my faith and trust in Mary though. When it seemed everything was thrown at me and I wanted to leave all behind of Catholicism. I saw Mary at the Cross and could not walk. My grandmother taught me devotion too to the Mother of Sorrows - Our Lady of Quito.
"A sword of sorrow your own soul shall pierce also..... that the thoughts of many hearts be revealed."
I should be dead - long ago, and more than once.
I have no doubts at those times especially Mary was there. She knew. And She lifted me to life again.
Years went by and in last few years I tried to return to Catholic Faith fully. But the hierarchy - some of them, did not make it easy at all. Just how it was, is in some ways and the truth. They did try to suppress it but I prayed to Mary to get me through and She did.
I always believed Mary was in Medjugorje. I was asked to go last year.
Well before that I was talking to priest friends who could not answer me my questions - fore I would trust wholly again. I said. "If you cannot give me the answers I need...... I will go to someone who can......... Mary." I got to Medjugorje and loved it there.
Smelled roses many times.
A woman I did not know from Adam came to me the first morning. She said, "You don't know me but I have to tell you something. I saw you at the airport and I have never in my life seen anyone consumed with such a profound sense of sorrow - to the core of your being. It was almost tangible. You are going to be healed. Christ will give you His peace. Not right away - but you will be healed."
If my 'soul' were made of glass, it was like she could see into the core of me, something none other could see - not even doctors I'd had to see.
I was sitting with two men I'd just met on the pilgrimage who were listening to this. They thought I was a priest at first. I thought I was going to explode - or implode. If the tears had started - I'd have shed an ocean. I wanted to run I was so overwhelmed with a sense of grief - but prayed for the strength to compose myself.
Since that trip the answers came. I have reconciled wholly with the Faith of my childhood. I am feeling peace permeate my soul. Not all at once - but peace I have not known for years - maybe ever.
She promised, "In the end My Immaculate Heart will triumph...." She keeps Her promise. I wanted to stay with Her at the Cross. She has always been with me - even when it seemed I was abandonned.
Thank you Mother. I love you.
Now - again, I ask - do with me what you will.
God is so good. I learned to forgive the priest in time too. Visited his grave and pray to God he was embraced in death.
Our suffering will not last forever. It will end - like a mother giving birth. We don't give birth to more suffering and death - but through, with and in Christ Crucified - to new Life for all.
Just some thoughts rushed I wanted to share.
God bless you all richly and may Mary, the Mother of Contemplatives guide you all.
K
This is Our Lady of Quito my grandmother introduced me to. As a child I wondered why she cried and wanted to dry the tears.
Oh to be a child again
http://www.sspxasia.com/Images/Newslett ... icture.jpg
